Leonard Cohen in one of his songs says: 'When it all comes down to dust I will kill you if I must I will help you if I can. When it all comes down to dust I will help you if I must I will kill you if I can.'

Kinda sums up the dual nature of the ego doesn't it ?

The influences on our sensitive being are many. Astrological, Psychological, Meteorlogical, Physiological, what chance do we have of getting it all right ? ? ? ?

Dont beat yourself up or let anyone else beat you up. There are plenty of people out there looking for a way to dump on you, dont let them!

Hari Om Tat Sat.

For me it seems to keep coming back to this idea of the incentive to do your practise. This incentive to find out a little more about yourself and who or what you have become and what you are going to do about changing that, if you need to.

I'm too busy to do it! Is the most common complaint I get from people that say they want to change, but dont seem to be able to find the time. Dependency is the other thing, we become dependent on things being the way they are and then we cant live any other way. So we avoid any discomfort whatsoever and live our lives in ever decreasing circles until we cant move anymore.

Am I wrong?

We seem to look for answers and when we get them we look somewhere else. How can I relax? I'm frequently asked. Do some asana's and breathe a bit deeper and do it everyday. Oh ok, then I never see them again!

It's like the guy who dropped his key in the dark and moved under a light to find it. The light is there to see but there is no key.

Apathy, Inertia, Tamas, Pathological laziness, call it what you will, is the problem.

Oh I know there is more than one way to skin a cat. But this is a yoga website and I'm really talking about yoga here. I think therefore I'm hypnotised by myself. Doh!

Pineal gland. Hypothalamus. Pituitary Gland. All of these organs make you who you are. Do you know anything about them? The Google God is here to save us all. Google all three of these things and see what you find out, if you can be bothered.

Within the mind there are no limits. John Lilly . Author of Center of the cyclone. Google this as well!

Oooommmmmmm

Every thought we have has an affect on our system in some way. If you are laying in your bed worrying about something you will be producing hormonal reactions in the body as if the event you are worrying about is actually happening. The body responds to fear real or imagined. That's an intense realisation is it not?

So the opposite must be true right? If we have positive thoughts and projections we will be having an hormonal response in accord with that too!

It all sounds very simple really doesn't it, change the thinking and change the hormonal responses. It's just the same as getting new software really. The brain and nervous system are the hardware and the thought processes are the software.

A simple procedure for highly complex beings such as ourselves. Could it really be that simple? Yes I think it could. But we come back to that same old problem, which is, where does the 'drive to commit' to this process come from and even more interesting, what is the 'drive to commit'?

I used to think it was desperation, i.e. that when we get desperate enough we will change. Well we all know about the new years resolution going out of the window by Jan 4th. These patterns are deeply ingrained in the mind/body system. We cannot simply change things overnight by changing our minds, can we?

I would say in some cases this can happen. An event which is 'mind blowing' can have such a profound effect on the system that sometimes a permanent change is effected immediately. Hearing of the sudden death of a close friend made me stop drinking alcohol, permanently.

Anyway what I am leading up to here is that Yoga is a profound life transforming every single day event that you can initiate in your own home. I am so bored with the 'yoga posture' syndrome, looking good and doing the perfect pose is not what it is all about, (in my opinion). It is not even about becoming peaceful really, (in my opinion). What is it about then? I think it is more about looking deep within yourself and finding out who/what you are and then looking again and asking if you are happy with being who/what you are. If you are then no more yoga for you, unless you like it of course. If your not then you use the disparity of who you are and who you want to be as the driving force for transformation, the drive to commit.

Of course I know this isn't a fully evolved answer to all the worldly problems one may have but it's a start!

And one thing I do know. If you dont try you will never find out. . . . . . . . . . . . . what ?

Hari Om Tat Sat.

Isn't it amazing that we live in a seemingly infinite Universe. I also like it, and dont quote me on this, that the scientists and medical experts dont know everything about the human brain. In fact I think it's only as little as 20% of the brain function is known. That means that 80% of the brain is as yet an unknown quantity. Like I said dont quote me!

Whatever the case we are not yet fully evolved as a species, that is the human species. Breathing for example is something we have to do in order to stay alive, but with a little shift in attention it is something that we can make as a tool for the transformation of consciousness. Or to put it in another way to change our blood chemistry.

All is chemistry. Electrical impulses fire through the neurones sending messages to hormonal receptor sites all the time changing our chemistry, most of this goes on unconsciously.

It has been found in autopsies of long term depressives that large amounts of the adrenal hormone cortisol is present in almost all cases.

What we think is what we are. The thought 'I am miserable' is processed by the brain and a chemical reaction will follow to back it up. Whether it be cortisol or any other misery making hormone that flows through your system the effect is the same. The software (thinking) controls the hardware (Nervous System/Endocrine (hormonal) System.)

"I think therefore I am". Becomes, what I think about affects my chemistry making me who I am and what I am. How simple is that to understand? It makes sense to me and I have the capacity for outrageous stupidity on a daily basis.

But if it were that simple all we would have to do is change the way we think and we will change the way we feel.

Hmmmmm, it gets tricky now, because if you feel really miserable the last thing you want to do is anything positive to save yourself. The software has you in it's grip. All the negative scripts keep rolling out convincing you that they are real. And chemically they are real.

But sometimes something unusual may happen, you may get a call from a good friend or see something funny somewhere that makes you laugh. Immediately your mood has changed. You feel better and wonder why you were feeling the way you were earlier.

Dont worry it's all in the mind it really is. But . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

When you go to the Guru/Swami/Teacher, by definition you are looking for something aren't you? The Guru has something you want. What is it, that something you want? What are you looking for when you go to the next yoga class and hand over your money? Relaxation, fitness, peace?

The adult teases the child. The adult says "I have something in my hand" The child wants to know what is it. "I'll show you tomorrow" says the grown up. And on and on it goes until the adult opens up an empty hand. The wanting is enough to keep you coming back again and again. What is it you lack then? What is it you think this person or place can give you?

All the answers lie within we are told again and again and again. So sit still and be quiet for five, ten or fifteen minutes you'll save yourself a fortune and a whole lot of time.

But perhaps we just go to yoga classes for the company after all, it's a social thing. Ohh look at that downward dog over there! Nice ;))

WE are formed and shaped by all of our personal experiences. This needs to be repeated to get the point across. If we can be shaped by experience it's useful to know 'what shape we are holding'. We all know of passive and aggressive stances and even passive/aggressive. But what about the subtle shapes we form. The subtle shapes manifest in our beliefs about ourselves and others.

'What we believe to be true is true until such beliefs are challenged and replaced by new beliefs'. The Earth is flat, the Earth is round or slightly oval shaped. At one time it was generally believed that if you sailed out into the oceans far enough you would drop off the edge of the planet. So it becomes true in a sense that belief is not real. My belief in something does not make that something so!

The interesting thing about meditation, (Dyhana), is that if we can sit still long enough we start to get this idea that we can kind of watch our own thought processes. It's as if the part of us that is dormant most of the time is awakened during meditation and begins to observe the thought processes we are having. This aspect of the self we could call 'witness consciousness' the self observing the self. Which then surely begs the question, that if we can watch our own thoughts then we are not our thoughts, we must be something deeper than that. Hmmmmm very interesting you say but 'so what?'

The speech centres are in the newest part of the brain the 'neo cortex', and the more ancient part of the brain, the cerebellum is towards the back of the skull. If you can imagine putting your awareness into that area ( the cerebellum) and kind of look forward you can watch the speech centres whirring on and on and on endlessly chatting about all sorts of irrelevant rubbish ad infinitum. Which I think is highly entertaining. However the more serious point to be made is that these thought processes come from somewhere and go somewhere, kind of rise and fall so to speak. The only time they can impact on the physical system is if 'we' that is the 'I' of the ego picks them up and makes something of them. If we dont pick up any of them they just keep passing through the screen of the mind. Wouldn't you like to be able to stop thinking now and again and give yourself a break?

So the point is that if thoughts are just rising and falling then what are they for. There are various analogies to this 'egoic' aspect of the mind. One is that the 'ego' is there to serve the larger mind and that somehow the 'ego' has usurped the larger mind and taken over the show. As if the butler of the household is now telling it's employers what to do, banging on endlessly about this and that. A bit like me really :)

Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

It is so easy to describe and yet so difficult to practise. Sitting still and following the breath in and out we start to see the way the 'thinking faculty' continues to distract us from each precious moment.

We are made up of a nervous system which interprets information and processes it. Once this process is complete the body will respond by providing chemicals into the system to help us deal with this information. Adrenaline is one of the more 'popular' and well known chemicals, dangerous sports enthusiasts will attest to this.

The 'fight or flight' response is pretty well known and a generally accepted fact of life nowadays. The more instinctual (animal) part of us will react, if threatened, by firing adrenaline into the system to prepare us to attack and destroy the offending threat, or run away as fast as we can to avoid harm. This is a leftover from our more distant animal past. Obviously in our more civilised culture either of these actions would probably be deemed socially unacceptable especially the former.

Most of us live in a way where we would rarely, if ever resort to attacking or running away from a threat either real or imagined. So what tends to happen is the third way of dealing with these threats manifests itself, the phenomena of 'fright', that is when an animal will freeze and hope the attacker will not notice it. The rabbit frozen in the headlights syndrome.

All of us I would suggest are assailed almost everyday with minor threats in some way or another that we may not even notice as a threat. But which will have the same effect on us, i.e, trigger the fight or flight or fright response providing our body with little shots of adrenaline.

Over a period of time we become very tense and easily upset and wonder why.

Just to name a few, the current climate of so-called recession is a major threat to our systems (some of us more than others), the threat of global warming and ozone depletion also are background threats on our delicate system.

What can we do ? Relax :). How ? Erm, have you tried yoga yet ?

Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

That kinda sums it all up really.

At any given moment we can ask ourselves. What am I doing? Why am I doing it? It's a bit of a tricky question to answer, if like me you are a little more complex in the 'ego' area. Sometimes it may be more appropriate to ask, 'who is actually asking the question in the first place? Glib answers such as 'the ego' or 'me', do not suffice once you have moved into the realm of the 'transformation of consciousness'; which is the actual goal of yoga.

"To be rather candid one can only speak from one's experiences, so unless you are a knower then shut up"! who said that?

When you open your eyes in the morning instead of starting to think about things, start to breathe deeply. See what happens. Men/Women have an incredible ability to create and achieve all sorts of wonderful things, space travel, technologies beyond the scope of anything anyone thought possible even 50 years ago. But ask a man/woman to sit still and not move and then stop thinking for a minute or two, let alone 30 minutes or an hour. Then we start to see the point of yogic practise, we see what we are up against.

In a sense who we are is subjective. That is, we change from day to day according to our mind's ability to shift perception/perspective and this is usually affected by our reactions to what happens to us. This is the 'Samsara' (illusion) described in the yogic philosophies. If nothing is real and it is all and illusion, then how can we sort the real from the unreal?

It seems to me, that if there is no such thing as objective reality then 'who we are' is based on what? How do we become who we are? Well according to the psychological model we are made from our experiences and influences as we grow into our particular life. We are very much a 'victim' of our birth and are influenced positively and/or negatively by our parents, nationality, religion or the lack of it, gender, etc. We become who we are through our fated birth, otherwise known as 'Karma'.

At various points along the road of our life we get 'shocked' into questioning the nature of this 'reality'. For example a serious illness or accident may force us back on ourselves to ask, "What's it all about?" Events like this trigger a 'wake up call', a time where we may question our lives a little more deeply and ask ourselves what we are doing with this precious thing called life.

When I asked the 'great swami' what is it that predisposes some of us towards a so called spiritual path he said, "Scientists have now found a gene that does predispose some of us towards a more spiritual path".

In other words you either is or you ain't !

Ps. At the risk of stating the obvious, all of the afore mentioned is only my opinion.

Willhelm Reich was a scientist/psychologist who died in 1956. He discovered amongst many other things that humans store memory in the musculature of the body. Reichian bodywork is a form of deep tissue massage that can bring to light many old unconscious memories stored away in the body. It is an emotional/psychic experience.

If this is true and we apply this idea to the 'asana' practise we begin to see that yoga is a deeply radical form of healing. And the best thing of all is it pre dates Reich by 5 - 6000 thousand years, according to some research. So there must be some truth in it!

Reich wrote many books and most of them are quite dry and scientific in nature but well worth it if one has the tenacity. 'Character Analysis' is one of his better known works and still survives in print today as a reference to many body oriented healing therapies. In this book he actually explores the idea that our physical body is actually shaped to a large degree by our psychological makeup, which itself is shaped by our life experiences and how we have been affected by them.

"It's not important to be serious but it is important to be serious about what's important".

A book I have mentioned before is John Lilly's 'Centre of the cyclone'. In this book he describes what he considers to be levels of consciousness. We can all relate to feeling more 'up' at certain times or feeling 'down' at others. I think it is useful to know where we are at, at certain times of the day, so we can start to see the way our moods and feelings shift and change throughout the course of the day. As we start to create a kind of map of these shifts we begin realise that our state of being is far from constant.

We bear the 'slings and arrows of outrageous fortune' and are victims of circumstance to a certain degree, unless we wake up to the fact that we are, (if we are taking the yoga philosophy seriously), responsible for everything that happens to us.

So a good plan before you start to practise, whether it be at home on your own or attending an asana class, is to 'check in with yourself and be honest about how you are. That is to say, what is on our minds, what are we feeling, emotional, thoughtful etc. Then during and at the end of the class noticing the shifts and changes in your thoughts, feelings, mood etc. As we continue to do this we are awakening the secondary awareness the 'Shamans' talk about. This is also called the 'witness consciousness' by others. Otherwise the 'yoga class' becomes another fix, so we can feel good again.

The whole point of the practise of yoga is to 'transform consciousness'. And obviously to look good in our new yoga outfit!

The way I see it is that if we are comfortable and engaged in living a life that we enjoy then we are not likely to 'need' a practise such as yoga. We may 'do' yoga but we may not 'need' it, a big difference.

As time goes by as we continue to practise we may begin to see certain things within ourselves or our environment that we find challenging. This is the 'downside' to waking up, i.e, we see things more clearly, and some of these things we see we would rather not. This brings us back to the 'discomfort zone', and it is how we integrate the discomfort between what we see and what we feel about what we see which is an important part of the practise. The yoga mat is the interface between the conscious and unconscious mind, in my opinion.

An analogy of climbing a mountain has been given to yogic practise. We become so involved in the climb, i.e, doing the 'perfect posture', that we may forget why we are doing it in the first place. And that is a very good question. Why do we practise? What is the predisposing requirement of spiritual/yogic or any other type of practise? I say this because it is so easy to make yoga another thing we have to get right and become neurotic about.

As we move higher up the mountain it is sometimes good to rest and enjoy the view. At the top of every mountain we find ourselves at the bottom of an even larger mountain. So enjoy the journey!

Yoga practise is designed to confront the practitioner with his or her psycho-mental (conditioned, habitual) tendencies. When these tendencies are constantly confronted through ongoing commitment to the practise, it can and usually does create a peculiar kind of tension. At this point old patterns can return and reassert themselves and we go on holiday or take a break from the practise, which of course is fine if needed. However if one understands the point of practise in the first place one may move into a 'self induced' crisis of some kind.

Being addicted to comfort and not feeling too much as most of us are, these crises can be seen as a negative thing. Within the framework of Naturopathy a crisis can be a 'healing crisis', (cleansing), or a disease crisis, (pathological). If one is in doubt of course one should see a medically qualified professional to ascertain the nature of one's particular situation. What is going on can sometimes be pathological as I myself found out when diagnosed with acute myeloid luekaemia (1993), after months of telling myself that I was having an emotional crisis and listening to people that did not really know what they were talking about.

So a crisis can either be negative leading to more chaos/disorder and pathology, or a positive thing leading to a higher level of consciousness/healing and order. The point to be made here is that if one is doing yoga practise then one should be fully informed as to the process that is likely to take place. In other words as stated above, 'yoga is designed to provoke the practitioner to wake up', and waking up as some of us know can be challenging if our day or life ahead is not very inviting.

I want to acknowledge the book, ' Holy Madness', by Georg Feurnstein, as an inspitation for this piece of writing.