more of more or less

I believe and it is also my experience that when the mind, the body and the breath are integrated, or working more harmoniously with one another we will usually experience a state of peacefulness that could be called by some a 'spiritual feeling'. This so called 'spiritual feeling or experience' is not a separate space that we have to try and reach by 'being good', it is an inner experience, a feeling of integrated peacefulness that opens us up to a new level of experience. And it is created by integrating the mind the body and the breath. This same feeling can happen sometimes by chance, e.g when we hear some beautiful music, or see a great piece of art or a lovely view etc. These are known by some as 'peak experiences', a heightened state of awareness where you may notice things that otherwise you would miss.

So we have our mundane everyday level of awareness where we spend most of our time. We spend most if not all of our time on this level thinking allot. We think about many things, we plan and create, we fantasise and remember things and we project into the future, in this space we are all very unique. Suddenly either by chance or by design we are catapulted into a peak experience. We enjoy this peak and then return to the mundane and get on with our life. These peaks have been known by some to completely change a persons life.

When we do our yoga practises over and over again aren't we moving in an upward arc in terms of our awareness/consciousness and energy levels? Is this true or not and if it is how do we deal with it? Once you have decided that you are moving into a higher or different state of consciousness you surely have to decide what you are going to do with it, because now you have moved or are moving into learning how to create these peak experiences at will!

We may have one life or many lives if you believe that. But whichever you believe, the truth is that you are here now! What you are doing here and now is another thing altogether. As one becomes more aware, one surely 'needs' to take more responsibility for oneself. At any time asking oneself the question, "What Am I 'really' doing", is very profound. Not in a neurotic way but in a 'felt and grounded' way.

The way it seems to go is: Improving commitment to practising Yoga - leading to increased levels of energy and awareness - leading to increased need to take more responsibility for oneself.

As awareness increases so does the part of the mind that is determined to hold you back. This part of the mind in some systems is referred to as the 'ego'. The goal then for some seems to be to 'destroy' the ego. Well if you do that you will not be very functional in this world of materiality anymore will you? So surely it would be better to look at the 'shape' you are in and determine from there where you 'want' to go next. This may seem like a bit of a contradiction in respect to me already having said that there is only 'here and now', but you know what I mean don't you?

First we practise - then we become aware - then we take action. Otherwise there is the 'fear' of becoming a 'physical jerk', i.e, running from yoga class to yoga class, from teacher to teacher looking for something that you already have. I'm saying this of course knowing that I spent quite a time running around before I 'realised' something very important.

Om Hari Om

Ego-less

Usually when we 'do' something we apply our 'will' to it and we focus on the outcome we want from the energy we put into it always looking for a return of some kind.

When I watch some people do Asana's I see them sometimes looking for a result. What I mean by that is that sometimes there seems to be allot of effort put into 'getting it right', as if getting it right will bring some kind of reward. The reward may be simply a "well done" from your wonderful yoga teacher making you swell with joy and pride that your efforts are being rewarded in some way at least.

BUT - :) if you follow the posture from a feeling perspective and not an egoic pushing perspective you may find something more interesting. Pushing for a result takes the attention away from where you might be right now and where you are right now is the only place you need to be.

Being here and now is all there is and all there ever will be. If you choose to spend your time here and now thinking about the past or the future then (hopefully) that is a choice you have made to do that. But if you are 'spacing out' all the time with no choices then something may be calling for your attention somewhere other than this place here and now. In order for you to engage that 'other place' it may be necessary for you to focus a little more. If you are constantly focused on being somewhere other than where you are then you are missing the point literally. Here is where the information is.

'Let the posture 'do you' and not the other way around'.

We need to appreciate that these Asana'a weren't just thrown in at the end of this long and complex process of yogic exploration just to give us something to do with our body. They are there for a reason! If you also appreciate the complexity of the whole yoga philosophy ( for want of a better word), then it has to be accepted that these Asana's are not merely exercises but precise positions for the conveying of information, information by the way that is coming from a place beyond our conditioned thinking mode. Some call it intuitive thinking or creative thinking, the 'eureka' mode of thought.

Do the best in the postures that you do and then relax and see what happens. . . . . . . . .

Om Hari Om

Can we? Do we?

Can we with yogic techniques change ourselves? By techniques I am talking of course of Asana, Pranayama, Bandha, Mudra, Dharana etc. If you don't know what these things are find out!

The question may be; why would I want to change? Well that is a good question, why indeed would one want to change?

Some people seem to get into trouble, some people seem to get into great difficulties although this is nothing unusual is it? We live apparently in a time when we have super technologies and medical sciences at our beck and call. BUT - we seem to find that more people than ever get into all kinds of trouble.

One of the explanations for this is that the world has become so materialistic that 'we' as humans no longer have any 'inner connection' to ourselves or the planet. The problems are blamed on lack of religion or spiriuality and discipline by the various religions around the world. They are also blamed on poor living conditions in the case of the poor, and on too much of everything material for the wealthy, by the politicians. Lack of family and/or lack of responsibility plus nobody cares about anything or anybody etc, etc.

Stress is nothing new really is it? We have always been stressed. Imagine living in medieval times or even in Victorian times! So what is the problem? Well in a sense there is no problem. Perhaps if you stop listening to all the bad news and stop watching so much crap TV for a month or 2, if you do that, you may find that life isn't too bad. What about giving up work and getting a smaller house or moving out of London? What about doing something about it in other words? Yea I know . . . . . . :)

Then we are faced with another problem; where do we start? The 'Grumpy' series on TV really epitomises it all for me. Moaning and groaning about everything. If you haven't seen it you should watch it, or Eastenders. It's all done as a bit of a joke but you kind of know what they mean and you don't have be too old either. There is no escape from it all and If you see it that way life really is a drag. But there is always the 'holiday' if you have the money, or ???

Not looking good is it all this recession and doom and gloom coming at us from all directions. Help!!

Why is it that if we take a drug such as a painkiller or a sleeping pill it affects us? It makes the pain go away or helps us go to sleep. This is because we have receptor sites within our body that allow these synthetic drugs to attach to our physiology and change us, or more precisely our body chemistry, for better or for worse. We are basically electrical impulses (thoughts) leading to chemical responses (hormones etc), which create a change in our blood chemistry leading to a change in our brain chemistry and on and on. If we keep putting negative input in we get a negative effect on the nervous system triggering the appropriate chemical hormones to shape the felt reality that we are creating, or in this case mis-creating.

Blah de blah blah blah, You know I could go on and on about this all day . . . . . . . .

We know the problems, what about some answers?

'Sit still - Shut up - Keep still - breathe in and out - then breathe in and out some more - then keep still and shut up a bit more. If you don't want to do that don't and go try something else. Of course do all of this with the greatest love and respect for yourself and others.'

If you can't sit still then you are in a right old mess and you had better do something about it quick. You could do some postures, or you could watch the telly and try to forget about everything. Or you could try and do some postures again, and again and again, until you start to breathe a bit deeper in calm regular rhythm. Aha! Something is happening just hang on in there a bit longer. Whoaa it's all gone a bit funny I feel dizzy. Hmmm I need to sit down and relax. Ahhhh Hmmmm Ahhh Hmmm MMm I feel a bit better now a bit more relaxed. Now what was it I was upset about earlier, oh yea. Hmmm I think I might need to do a few more postures. . . . .

This is more or less the yoga journey in microcosm. . . . . . . . Enjoy it :) or not :(

Aaaauuuuummmmm

Ze hard work of it all . . . . .

Keeping this blog has become another way for me of keeping it 'real'. It came about as a result of a question I asked myself about yoga, i.e, does it work. I felt that writing about it on here somehow forced me to put my money where my mouth is. On a good day the words flow and I am full of praise for yoga, on a 'not so good' day I am challenged to find anything positive to say about how good anything is.

So what is it that changes?

If you have been reading this for a while you will know that I adhere to the idea of the sub-personality model of psycho-synthesis. (google it). In practising yoga I am merely inserting another character into the mix, 'the Yogi'. As I said yesterday, the more I commit to the yogi the more he rewards me with 'seeing' who I really am. By that I mean I get more of a choice over who I want to be rather than who I have been conditioned to be by the 'slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. In other words if I am unhappy or somehow feeling pre-disposed to misery then I can see behind the symptoms (misery, sadness or whatever) and go to the cause, (conditioned responses) and change it/them, most of the time. As we know it is dependent on the cause as to how or what we can do about it. The opposite way of dealing with it would be to feel something I didn't want to feel and get away from it by ignoring it (denial), and 'acting out' with some kind of conditioned behaviour.

To explain this further I need to explain that as far as I am aware through studying and personal experience natural and healthy existence is based on the principle of expansion and contraction, inhale AND exhale, giving and taking etc. If this process gets stuck in some way we get dis-ease. If we get under energised (Tamasic) we will need stimulation to gee us up. If we get over energised (Rajasic) we need something to relax us. If we do not become aware for this dynamic we will get stuck in a kind of see-saw of energy which we have no control over. The scenario of course is a few drinks or smokes in the evening and a strong cup of coffee or three in the morning. When you consider that this is accepted as normal behaviour you start to see the level of the problem. I am tempted to say there is nothing wrong with drinking and smoking and coffee etc, but I'm not going to, not in the context of this piece of writing at least. But having said that it's all relative isn't it? If we are happy who cares, we do what we do, we will face the consequences of our actions when it is time to.

BUT - if you at least attempt to try some of the things it says in some of the more informed yoga manuals you may be shocked to find that your whole life may change very quickly. The resistance to all change is attachment through fear. I'll hold on to this job/relationship/pair of socks etc because I may not get another one. This is based on the principle that it is better to know what you have rather than run the risk of the humiliation of having nothing. But having nothing is the beginning of practise and the practise will support us through any transitions we may need to go through in the same way that a 'good' counselor or therapist would support us through them.

It's a bit like living in the basement and then moving to the top floor, you can't begin to know what it's like on the top floor until you've been there.

More and or less . . . .

I have found that the more willing I am to 'commit' to a regular (yoga) practise, the easier things have become for me in many ways. If I want to play the game of getting upset by everything I can easily do that, I just stop practising.

But - there is a part of my mind that is not happy about this. There is a part of my mind that thinks that I shouldn't have to do anything to have an easy and pleasant life. That life should be easy as it 'appears' to be for other people, ha ha. The Guru sits and smiles enigmatically. Is this the same part of me that my mum used to say about me that; "You think the world owes you a living?" I would say definitely yes!

So this part of my mind has to be placated and at the same time somehow allowed to express itself in some way. The Ying and the Yang and the old integration of opposites phenomena comes to rest firmly at 'my' feet, what can 'I' do about it? This has always been a rather large stumbling block for me, as my own worst enemy and all that jazz. But somehow having to make a decision between which side of the coin I am doesn't have the same amount of emotional pressure to it that it used to have. Why? It is because I (think) that most of the time I really do see that the line that joins the Yin and the Yang is me, which side of the line I drop becomes a choice which is informed by, what? . . . . . practise. . !

So now I see that rather than being placated and tranquillised by my yogic practise I am in fact informed by something else. Hmmmm the sceptic says, you'll be getting a call from Richard Dawkins soon. What is this something else? Who knows, who cares. When Archimedes was struggling to know how to measure volume for months on end what was it that made him notice the bathwater rising and for him to shout 'Eureka!' I Don't know, but I doubt if he worried too much about how he came to his conclusion, just that he got to it.

The hard work is the practise, not the other way around. People still seem to think that yoga is some kind of escape route into some strange land where Hindu Gods float around waiting to give answers to the Karmically pre-disposed soldiers of fortune. It can be like that if you see it that way I guess but not necessarily so.

As the instructions will tell you, stop complaining and - Just do it! But do not lust after results.

'Fear knocked at the door - Faith answered and there was no one there.'

Om Hari Om

can we change?

Can we change our reality?

Once we have meditated for awhile, or not, we may start to see that we are a little bit unhappy, not necessarily about life per se, but about things in general. There may be a vague sense of unease with life, we may feel uncomfortable with ourselves in certain situations.

What has happened to us? How have we been affected by our lives so far? The psychologists say, some of them, that our personality is formed within the first 6 or seven years of our lives. The framework is then in place for us to act in a particular way for the rest of our lives. We could say that we have been brainwashed or hypnotised in some way to see the world through a particular set of references, habits and ideals.

The above may or may not be true but it is more or less accepted as pretty much the way things are for us by most psychologists (I think).

Then as we go through our life and we start to bang and crash into other people we start to see that we all have our own peculiarities, that we are all more or less the same, but also very different. Socialisation usually starts to occur around the time that our sexuality starts to manifest itself. We go through all the traumas associated with finding boyfriends and girlfriends etc, and run the risk of serious humiliation and rejection all the time. By the age of late teens or early twenties we are more or less fully formed and heading to fulfill our destinies.

Oh if it were all as straightforward as that!! As we all know it is not usually very straight forward at all.

As we move through our lives things happen to us and we are continually shaped and reshaped by our experiences, we create and recreate ourselves over and over again. (Yes I am generalising again). Some of us at a certain point may feel like we don't know what the Hell is going on anymore. We start to question ourselves and our lives, we have strange dreams and experiences. We may go to the doctor who may tell us we are ok, and reassured by that with a little counselling we are back on track and living our lives again. There are others who may have felt these feelings of discomfort or dis-ease for many years and eventually find a way to live with it through therapy or some other way.

We live, it appears in strange times, there are more therapies available now than you can shake a stick at? There is help everywhere. What does this mean? We have more information at our fingertips now (google etc) that at any other time in the history of the world we live in. The split continues to grow between the wealthy and the poor, between the fundamentalists and the and the libertarians. This split could be viewed as a schism within the very framework of the human psyche manifested in the world by these extremes. What can we do? Which side of the split to you stand, do you want to stand?

Choice being the operative word- What would you choose if you could?

Within the inhale and the exhale there are answers to all of these questions. Within the gap between the inhale and the exhale there is an answer. to find out what it is you may have to sit still for a while, you may have to sit still for quite a while. Can you do that ? Do you want to do that?

There is always the pub!

Om

Chemical reactions !!

If you spend a lot of time in pain, physically, mentally or emotionally, after some time you may get used to it and accept it as normal and just the way things are. Like the fish that doesn't realise it is floating in water because water is there as a given and has always been there. Well I don't know what fish think about for all I know they do know but I will at this point assume they do not.

So like the fish we swim around in our own personal version of pain and we take it as a given that this is the way things are!

If you have a headache and you take a pain killer of some kind, more often than not the pain goes away after awhile and you forget about the headache. There are many causes for headache but let's just say that this headache-ness is part of your make up and that you have always had a headache. You don't appreciate that you 'suffer' from headache-ness until one day you find out that not everybody has headaches all the time. At this point someone may point you in the direction of pain killers and you take one and for the first time you feel what is is like to have non-headache-ness. Blimey a whole new world opens up for you and you can enjoy living in a non-headache state for as long as you keep taking the tablets.

Then through some chance or another you find out that there are other cures for headache-ness and you try some of them. You then find that you no longer have to take quite so many tablets as long as you continue to do this 'other thing' that also helps you maintain a state of non-headache-ness. Wonderful! This process may continue until one day through trial and error you find that you have eliminated headache-ness from your own life completely, and all you have to do is whatever it is you have discovered as a cure.

First of all there is the 'becoming aware' of headache-ness through chance or some other method, then there is the exploration of finding a non-headache-ness state of being. This process may take many years or a few weeks dependent on, what? Need? Desire? Desperation?

Most of us as adults know that if we take a drug it will alter our chemical make up and change something within our physiological disposition. Drugs are widely available and so is alcohol. Drugs and alcohol are used as part of social interaction, it is very normal to have a drink or a smoke in the company of other like minded people. We are 'affected' by chemical changes within our body's. We are affected perceptually as well. We may feel miserable and we have a drink or two and we then feel happier as a result, or not as the case may be.

'The body reacts to fear whether real or imagined' Anon.

In other words what you think about will affect the body chemistry and alter your mood, perception, whatever. If your body has been conditioned to behave in a particular way for 20 or 30 years or more, to think that saying positive affirmations will change that overnight is a big mistake.

The body and mind will condition themselves around the input they receive.

And this is where yoga steps in, Asana and Pranayama are the start of the process. The Yamas and Niyamas will grow sometimes slowly and sometimes quickly depending on your desire, need or desperation. The ability to sit still and gaze into the infinity of nothingness within your own mind will grow over time so that you can then experience the experiencer and see the seer.

As one begins to realise that 'thought' is not reality in the true sense but that it is a conditioned experience based on may different things, one may then realise there is something beyond thought. Hmmmmm, what would that be then?

Having seen Stephen Dawkin recently on television slaying some poor unsuspecting new-agers into looking like complete fools. I'm writing this now with a view to being blasted an criticised by him or someone like him. I would willingly argue the point/s I mention on here with any scientist. We, in the arena of so called alternative health field should be pushed to prove our outrageous claims, this is only right I believe. To squeak naively that it is all just energy and stuff is one thing but to talk about what actually happens within the dynamic framework of, in this case, a practising yogi is quite another.

Essentially we are a series of electrical impulses (thoughts) and chemical responses (hormones), are we not?

Ha Hari Om

E-G-O

We hear allot about ego, but what is this thing called an ego? What does it do? What is it for? If people are egotistical, what does it mean? What is a big EGo, what is it like to have no Ego, is it possible to have no ego?

Do you know ????

8 limbs

It's amazing to realise that there are 8 limbs to yoga.

Yamas - Niyamas - Asana - Pranayama - Pratyhara - Dharana - Dhyana - Samhadi.

Of these 8 limbs only 2 of them involve any physical exertion and one of those, pranayama, not really too much of it.

So we have asana, as the only part of the 8 limbs that requires any physical exertion.

Hmmmmm that's very interesting, because whenever I talk to people about yoga that's what they think it is, Asana's and not much else. So you see allot of 'physical jerks' and 'posing' and 'getting it right', as a way to enhance ego strength and not much else as far as I can see. Well I guess if your gonna have one (ego) you might as well have a strong one, right?

Try sitting still and doing absolutely nothing . . . . . .

Hmmmmmm now it gets a bit more interesting.

Ha Ha Hari Ommmm

what you eat

Tamas = Inertia - lazy - depressive - etc.

Rajas = Hyperactive - anxious - driven - etc.

Sattva = Peaceful - balanced - lovely. .

Do you know which one of these you are? If you do then you can act accordingly. For example if you are hyper active and anxiety prone, coffee and stimulating foods are not really what you need. If you are tired and lazy, then dead foods such as too much meat and fish and fungi such as mushrooms are not really good for you.

A sattvic diet is a more balanced diet consisting of fruit and vegetables mainly, also yoghurts and some cheeses, seeds, nuts and grains.

You are what you eat is the well known phrase. We are what we are, we are what we have become. If we are not happy with who or what we have become it is time to take action. If you are anything like me you will drag your feet for a while but eventually you may resolve to make some changes. We change even if we are not aware of it. What you were interested in as a 12 year old will hopefully not interest you any more, toys and climbing trees or whatever you did :)

It is easy to understand the concept of - what we do will affect us - As we become more awake, as a result of yoga, we enter the arena of more responsibility- at least for ourselves- then maybe for our environment and even other people. This also requires balance, otherwise you may become a 'people pleaser' running around doing things for others but having no time for yourself, or the opposite, never doing anything for anyone.

But hey who really cares? As long as 'you' are happy right?

Hmmmmmm not sure really. . . . . .

Hari Om

The secret.

Before you can get the benefits of yoga you have to actually practise it - - Allot !!!

We are conditioned and we are with yoga un-conditioning ourselves.

If you think that is going to be easy - think again!

People sell snake oil and tell you they have the answer and that it is all easy and all you have to do is the A-B-C but it's not easy is it?

Once you realise that it is not necessary to make a martyr of yourself you will find it will become much easier. Who do you suffer for, yourself or others. Why do you suffer?

You suffer because you are not clear about who you are, once you have made up your mind about who you are there will be no more suffering, and if there is it is because you have chosen it!

Yoga is a deep mysterious journey - so read the maps - otherwise you will get stuck on the roundabouts and swings. You will become an ASS-ana!

Move on - Do some meditation - Do some Pranayama - Do some Kriya - Stop worrying -and act now!

And enjoy what is- now!

Ha Ha Hari Om

Normal?!

I'm still amazed how some people think yoga is some weird thing that some people do. I teach some yoga classes in Gyms and there is the other idea that it is just another form of exercise. So what is it?

I don't really know what people want, but it seems to me that there is an idea coming form somewhere that life should somehow be easier than it is. Has life ever been easy?

Here we are, born into this world. We are parented and educated and in some cases given religious beliefs, we are then told we must work and buy things, houses, cars, clothes etc. We may not be told this directly but it is what the majority of people do because that is what everybody else does. What else is there to do? Fall in love, get a great career, get married eventually and have children. Well there you go.

Life affects us, some of us are more affected than others, some of us succeed, some of us fail at the game of life. We get stereotyped and pigeonholed into little groups, ethnic, gender, cross gender, office worker, blue collar, white collar, and within these stereotypes we are further 'typed' and pigeon holed until we are so identified with the role allotted to us we come to believe that this is it!

This is what is accepted as normal.

Well if yoga is weird I'm glad, because if I'm weird I don't seem to get caught up in the bullshit quite as much as I used to.

There is a very subtle but quite toxic vibe existing within the yoga world too. You do this yoga or that yoga, this is better than that, or you must find the yoga that suits you. There is a hell of allot of confusion going on. People charging ridiculous sums of money to take people to far flung places to do a few yoga postures. What is going on?

I started out writing this one thinking I was going to point out that yoga isn't very weird at all when compared to some behaviour that is accepted as normal. Such as; sitting in front of a computer all day typing, drinking till you wake up sick, smoking till you can't breathe, eating until you can't move and worrying about how fat you are, exercising obsessively, going on holiday- again, buying another dress, suit, shoes, need I go on?

Well I'm ranting a bit but blimey it is a bit mental isn't it when you se it like this?

I think that all most people want is to feel good about themselves and to feel peaceful and relaxed.

Yoga can give you that, but if someone goes to a yoga class who has never been to one before and there is someone teaching the class that knows nothing about yoga, what are they going to come away with? Probably 'yoga is weird'.

Gyms dont seem to care too much as long as they get the customers. Yoga teachers aren't vetted for experience, how can they be when nobody knows what a good or bad teacher is?

'From fixtures and forces and friends you're sorrow does stem.' Bob Dylan.

Have a day!

Om

Energy? You have got to laugh!

There is allot of talk about energy as if it is some mysterious life force. We have this something called 'prana' or 'chi' or 'cosmic energy' that is floating around in the universe and all over, inside and out of us. What is it exactly, this stuff?

How can we ever really know?

I watched a programme last night with Richard Dawkins as the great supporter of the scientific worldview trying to prove that all of the so called new age therapies are phoney because they are not provable in a scientific way. He is a scientist and he would say that wouldn't he. He had a point though, when some of the people representing the 'new age' were asked to undergo testing they refused, and those that did undergo testing failed dismally to prove anything at all of worth regarding the therapies represented.

He never mentioned yoga but he did mention the 'chakra' system.

I think it's good for us to have people like this and I also think that scientific evaluation is relevant for some of the therapies that are available now.

The conclusion I drew from the programme was that people will do what they want in regard to choices of treatment irrespective of proof by scientists that the said treatment has no scientific validation and doesn't work, according to there data.

But as we know some of these things do work and do make us better, so what are we supposed to do?

Some of us believe that we are living in unusual times. Well of course we are, but aren't we always living in unusual times. We are in some respects always living with an unknown future. We like to think we are, but we really aren't 100 % certain about what's waiting around the bend.

With all of the uncertainties today it is nice and reassuring to know that when thought ceases there is peace between the ears. If there is peace between the ears there is peace in the heart and this peace is then taken out into our actions and behaviour.

We have within the science of yoga a system and a process of evolution that has a history spanning 1000's of years. If you are reading this it means that you are interested in yoga and may even be practising it!

If you are practising it and haven't got some of the books I mentioned on here then you are an idiot. Not because I say so but because you are doing something pretty powerful and you are not utilising the 'best' advice on the subject!

We seem to have absolved responsibility towards ourselves and our bodies and minds. We seem to be subliminally encouraged to give our power away to Guru's, Doctors, Therapists, Politicians, Priests etc, etc. We have been giving our power away for a long, long time. What does it feel like to take it back? Can you take it back?

The thing about depending on an outside agency is that you still conveniently have someone to blame when things go wrong.

We are told everyday in a thousand ways that the world is in a mess. We are warned everyday in a thousand ways that life is getting worse and will continue to get worse. We are told all of this with a smile. As the news closes, after 30 minutes of misery, we are sometimes given a snippet of light hearted stuff to make us feel better?! Ahhhh lovely :))

When I was a child in the days before health and safety I used to climb high trees and swing from the top branches, I knew no fear. I learned to become scared as I 'grew up'. I heard things and I read things and became more and more afraid, in the end I had to sedate myself with alcohol an/or drugs in order to feel ok, it was the 60's. I left school in the 60's and it was difficult to avoid the whole revolution of 'do what you feel like'.

How much fear do you need ? Keep watching the news, keep reading the newspapers, it's all really bad isn't it!

Peace between the ears is what I want and I have a practise that more or less gives me it most of the time.

To some up modern culture, there is or used to be a commercial on TV for some stuff that stops diarrhea. It shows a woman holding her stomach in pain, probably because she needs to go to the loo, probably because she has eaten too much crap, she then drinks some of the 'stuff'. In the next shot she is shoving a cream cake into here mouth!

You've gotta laugh at that !!

Om